Shhhhh

If you have ever experienced anyone having a major meltdown in front of you (or AT you – welcome to my world!) you will find yourself sometimes at a  loss as to how you should react. As you stand there, often open mouthed, usually unable to move and certainly unsure as to what to do with your hands, the person in crisis is yelling or crying or flailing about. Or biting you, spitting on you, writhing on the floor…. you know the stuff.

A wise woman once told me that the best thing to do in this situation is get really quiet. Or actually, shut up.

The last thing a person in crisis needs is to deal with a lot of verbal from people around them. So if you find yourself remonstrating (“now thats not the way we behave in public, Charlie….. we’ll never get to school if we start behaving like that, will we? …. come on now, its music today….the teacher will be wondering where you are……..”) the best thing to do is CAN IT. Because to a person in meltdown, thats just BLAH BLAH BLAH and overload.

I’m not suggesting you say nothing at all (although sometimes, a bit of silence is a good thing) Agree with those around who will be the speaker; use gentle and slow voice, with simple, basic responses. One voice. One calm set of sounds. Patience. Positivity.

This may seem silly, but if you get quieter, the person has to hush to hear what you are saying. This has worked with kids in meltdown, adults in crisis and really annoying cold callers on the phone. I swear by it.

This is not a tutorial; rather a reminder that sensory overload can come from all sorts of places and you are a controllable source of sound. You cannot hush the traffic, the weather, the noise of the air conditioning or the dog barking three doors down, indeed you probably aren’t even aware of them. But you can reduce the chaos by controlling your reactions.

Forget controlling the situation, but managing yourself will really help the person in crisis to begin to manage themselves.